Power and Control Wheel- Teen

Abuse is a pattern, and is not limited to physical or sexual violence. Abuse can take many forms but always comes from a desire to exert power or control over another person. Regular or occasional use of non-consensual, coercive, manipulative, intimidating, or controlling behavior in a relationship is abuse. Abuse – whether it is physical, emotional, financial, or sexual – is not okay, and it’s not your fault.

If you or someone you know is experiencing any of these behaviors listed, please reach out to a school counselor or a trusted adult. More info and help are also available at: www.loveisrespect.org. Because of mandated reporting laws that require adults to report violence against minors, CSN does not support people under 18 without parental consent. CSN’s confidential helpline is accessible to anyone, and individuals may remain anonymous and only share whatever details they choose.

The Power and Control Wheel is a tool to understand the different forms abuse can take. It can help you understand if what you are experiencing is abuse by identifying controlling patterns of behavior used by an abuser.

Physical and Sexual Violence are more commonly understood methods of an abuser exerting power and control over someone, but behavioral patterns are also abuse.  The following are examples of behavioral abuse:

Threats and Intimidation

Tries to scare you by smashing or throwing things, threatens to harm you, your family,friends, or pets. Threatens suicide if you leave, or drive recklessly.

Extreme Emotions

Acts extremely jealous when you speak to others, gets angry quickly and aggressively

Emotional Abuse

Always puts you down, makes you feel badly about yourself, calls you names, humiliates you in front of others

Peer Pressure

Threatens to expose personal information or spread rumors. Tells hateful lies to peer group.

Blaming, Minimizing, or Denial

Makes light of abuse, says it’s your fault, expects you to forget and forgive.

Using Social Status

Treats you like a servant, tells you you’re lucky to have them, takes advantage of social status to act like they’re better than you.

Violating Privacy

Reads your notes, goes through your purse, locker, or backpack. Reads your texts and social media.

Limiting Independence

Controls what you wear, where you go, and who you see/spend time with. Makes all the decisions in the relationship