Power and Control Wheel

Abuse is a pattern, and is not limited to physical or sexual violence. Abuse can take many forms but always comes from a desire to exert power or control over another person. Regular or occasional use of non-consensual, coercive, manipulative, intimidating, or controlling behavior in a relationship is abuse.

The Power and Control Wheel is a tool to understand the different forms abuse can take. It can help you understand if what you are experiencing is abuse by identifying controlling patterns of behavior used by an abuser.

Physical and Sexual Violence are more commonly understood methods of an abuser exerting power and control over someone, but behavioral patterns are also abuse.  The following are examples of behavioral abuse:

Coercion and Threats

Verbal and written threats to hurt, kill, end the relationship, suicide, or report to authorities

Intimidation

Threatening looks, actions, gestures, destroying property, abusing pets, displaying weapons

Emotional Abuse

Excessive criticism, humiliation, crazy-making (gaslighting), using guilt

Isolation

Controlling contact with friends and family, policing phone and web use, restricting access to support systems

Blaming, Minimizing, or Denial

Shifting blame and responsibility for abuse, denying abuse happened, saying an abusive incident wasn’t that bad

Using Children, Friends, or Loved Ones

Causing guilt about relationships, using others as messengers, threatening loss of dependents or friendships, manipulating relationships

Using Societal Privilege

Enforcing traditional gender roles, racism, using community influence

Economic and Academic Abuse

Controlling money, stealing money, preventing partner from getting or keeping a job or finishing a degree