What Do We All Need to Know About Stalking?

January is National Stalking Awareness Month, a time to shine a light on a form of victimization that often hides in plain sight.

While many of us are familiar with the word “stalking,” there’s a lot more to understand about what it means, who is affected, and how to help. To mark this important annual observance, we sat down with members of our client services team — the advocates who work directly with stalking survivors every day — and asked them what they would like our community to know when it comes to the realities of stalking.

What does the average person not know about stalking that you think they should know? 

Our understanding of stalking is deeply influenced by the media and is normalized in our day-to-day culture. Take for example phrases like “I’m going to stalk them on social media” or “he’s such a stalker”. These phrases are so commonly said among our friends without malicious intent, but this kind of language can be harmful. It minimizes the very real fear, control, and trauma experienced by people who are actually being stalked. When stalking is treated as a joke or a personality trait rather than a serious pattern of behavior, it becomes harder for survivors to be believed and for communities to recognize warning signs early. 

Many people think stalking only looks like someone repeatedly following another person or showing up uninvited. In reality, stalking is often subtle, persistent, and deeply psychological. It can include monitoring someone’s movements, excessive messaging, tracking or harassing, spreading rumors, or contacting friends, family members, or employers to maintain access. And now with the evolution of technology, access to individuals is so much greater that it allows perpetrators to more easily engage in these dangerous behaviors.  

Stalking is about control and fixation, not romance or coincidence. One of the most dangerous misconceptions is that stalking is harmless since often there is no physical violence.  but the reality is that stalking is a strong predictor of future violence. Even before physical harm occurs, stalking can deeply disrupt a person’s sense of safety, stability, and wellbeing. 

What are some of the most disturbing things about stalking? 

What is most disturbing about stalking is how easily it can escalate and how often it is minimized or dismissed until something severe happens. Survivors may take proactive steps to seek help, document behavior, and increase safety, yet still struggle to be believed or protected. 

In the United States it is estimated 13.5 million people are stalked each year.  One in three women and one in six men will experience stalking in their lifetimes. And even knowing the prevalence, most individuals still struggle to be believed.   There is also the reality that most victims know their stalkers. That could be a current or former partner, acquaintance, or someone they once trusted, which makes it harder for others to recognize the danger early on. 

Our societal normalization and often romanticization of stalking behaviors is very concerning.  The idea that someone can lose their sense of safety and autonomy for months or even years due to another person’s fixation is deeply unsettling. 

What is something hopeful or promising going on in the space of stalking support?

There is growing recognition that stalking is a serious and dangerous crime with real psychological and safety implications. More professionals are receiving training to identify stalking patterns, including technology-facilitated stalking. Survivors are also speaking out more, helping shift public understanding and reduce stigma. 

For example, a violation of a stalking protection order is considered a federal offence, not a misdemeanor as with other protection orders which validates the severity of the experience.  

What, if anything, would you change about state statutes related to stalking?

State statutes should better reflect the realities of stalking, including patterns of behavior over time and the widespread use of technology. Many laws focus on isolated incidents rather than cumulative harm, which can make it difficult for survivors to access protection until risk has already escalated. 

Clearer definitions, stronger recognition of cyberstalking, and survivor-centered legal thresholds would improve safety and accountability while reducing the burden placed on those experiencing stalking. 

What are some common supports and/or direction that CSN offers stalking survivors and victims? 

Community Safety Network (CSN) offers confidential, survivor-centered support tailored to each individual. This includes personalized safety planning that takes stalking behaviors into account, assistance with protection orders, accompaniment to court or law enforcement interactions, help documenting incidents over time, education and understanding around digital safety and privacy, as well as a safe place to stay if a person’s home no longer feels safe because of the stalking behaviors.  

CSN advocates also provide emotional support and crisis response, in English and Spanish. And in circumstances where necessary, CSN offers referrals to counseling and mental health services. Survivors are supported at their own pace, with respect for the complexity of their decisions and the ongoing nature of stalking. Our goal is to restore a sense of control and autonomy while prioritizing safety. 

What, if anything, sets stalking apart from the other victimizations for which CSN offers support, such as domestic or sexual violence? 

What sets stalking apart is the way it often unfolds as a pattern of ongoing intrusion rather than a single event. Stalking can occur across multiple spaces at once, online, at home, at work, and in the community. This can be extremely disruptive leaving survivors feeling as though there is no place to feel safe. 

The psychological and emotional impact of this constant monitoring and unpredictability can be extremely damaging.  Many survivors experience chronic anxiety, hypervigilance, sleep disruption, or trauma responses over time. Some may begin to question their perceptions; they can stop trusting their own instincts and reality, feeling constantly on edge, not because they are overreacting, but because their nervous system is responding to persistent threats. Unlike other victimizations, stalking often forces survivors to remain on alert for extended periods, which can deeply affect mental health, daily functioning, and overall wellbeing. 

What can you share to help someone who’s never experienced stalking understand what it’s like to be stalked? 

Being stalked is living with a constant sense of anticipation and fear. It is knowing that someone is watching, tracking, or thinking about you without your consent. Over time, survivors may change where they go, who they talk to, or how they show up in the world in order to feel safer. Many survivors experience ongoing anxiety, difficulty relaxing, and a sense of being on guard at all times. This prolonged stress can affect mental health, relationships, and a person’s sense of reality and control. Stalking quietly erodes safety, often long before others recognize the harm.