Abuso Sexual
Yes, it is abuse.
Your body is yours, and whether it’s the first time or the hundredth time, whether it’s a hook up, a committed relationship or even a marriage, you are never obligated to give consent even if you have done so in the past. You get to make your own boundaries.
A person can decide to stop any activity at any time, for any reason.
Consent
Consent is the voluntary, informed, and mutual agreement between individuals to engage in a specific activity, whether it be sexual, physical, or otherwise. It involves clear communication and must be given freely, without coercion, manipulation, or pressure. Consent is an ongoing process, meaning it can be revoked at any time, and both parties must be able to clearly express their willingness and boundaries. Key aspects of consent include:
Consent must be given freely, without any form of manipulation, threats, or force.
All parties must have full knowledge of the situation and any potential risks involved before giving consent.
Both parties must agree to the activity, and it should be based on respect for each other’s boundaries.
Consent should be communicated openly and explicitly, whether verbally or through mutually understood actions.
Consent can be withdrawn at any time, and all parties must respect this decision.
Consent is crucial in any interaction, ensuring that all individuals involved feel respected, safe, and empowered.
- If you don’t feel safe saying “no” then you have no room to say “yes.”
- If your partner pouts and begs until you finally say yes, that’s not consent.
- If they tell you that you’d have sex (or do any sexual activity) if you “really” loved them, that’s not consent
- If your partner pretends not to hear you when you say no or stop, that’s not consent.
- If you are unable to demonstrate physical and enthusiastic consent. That is not consent.
Any response that disregards or minimizes your wishes when you decline a sexual activity is not okay.
Sexual Abuse in intimate partner relationships
- Calls you hurtful sexual names
- Hurts the sexual parts of your body (ex. fondles, grabs, pinches)
- Continually pressures to have sex and/or tries to normalize demands for sex by saying things like, “I need it, I’m a man” “you must because we are married”
- Becomes angry or violent when refused sex
- Gives you drugs or alcohol to “loosen up” your inhibitions and to where you are unable to consent to sexual activity
- Forces you to have sex or engage in unwanted sexual activity (ex. rape, anal rape, forced masturbation or forced oral sex)
- Forces you to dress in a sexual way
- Ignores your feelings about sex
- Holds you down during sex
- Uses weapons or other objects to hurt the sexual parts of your body
- Records or photographs you in a sexual way without your consent
- Forces or manipulates you to watch pornography
- Intentionally tries to pass on a sexually transmitted disease to you
- Hides or sabotages birth control
- Threatens to leave if you do not get pregnant
Sexual assault in the LGBTQ+
We know that being LGBTQ+ doesn’t protect anyone from abuse so if you have to “prove” anything to your partner by engaging in sexual activities you aren’t comfortable with, that’s abusive. Your sexual orientation and gender identity are yours, and you get to choose whether to disclose them or not, as well as who you tell. If your partner is threatening to out you (or refusing to let you come out) if you don’t have sex, that is abuse.
All acts of sexual assault – no matter how violent, no matter the perpetrator – can be devastating. Sexual assault can make people feel alone.
You are not alone.
Community Safety Network allays isolation by offering a net of resources and support. We are here to listen, 24 hours a day, just a call away: 307-733-SAFE (7233).
Additional Resources:
- The National Sexual Violence Resource Center: The nation’s principle information/resource center regarding all aspects of sexual violence.
- Rape and Incest National Network (RAINN): Operator of the National Sexual Assault Hotline (1-800-656-HOPE) and Online Hotline (rainn.org).
- Make the Connection and Safe Helpline: Extensive resources for veterans suffering from effects of military sexual trauma.
- NO MORE: National campaign to galvanize awareness about sexual assault and domestic violence.
- MaleSurvivor and 1in6: Both geared toward male survivors of sexual assault.
- Pandora’s Project: An online support group for survivors of sexual assault.